00sage00's Romps Through the Eve Universe

The Python Cartel has always been well known for its prowess at smacktalking. But a lesser known ability of the Pythons is excellence at rhymes.

So without further adieu,
I present to you,
Python Poetry:

Smack is wack yo
But I got no sack so
I’ll stay on this gate
Hug the guns and wait

My backup is coming
So you’d better start running
We’re going to blob you, gank you
Rob you, spank you.

The truth of the matter is
Without my friends I ain’t got shit
I never fight when there’s risk
21 vs 1 is the shit.

Just look at my killboard
It’s full of my killwhores
I did 24 damage
But I filled local with spammage
- by Kobrakilla

I want to take a knife
And logoffski Life.
- by 00sage00

And here is a small sample of Python Rhyme Time:

Kobrakilla > what’s a transom?
Kyle Langdon > your mom
Kobrakilla > sounds lame
Kyle Langdon > like this game
00sage00 > what a shame
Kyle Langdon > it can be quite a pain
00sage00 > to take the blame
Kyle Langdon > what was its name?
Kobrakilla > If you take it frame by frame
Kyle Langdon > i think i just came
Kobrakilla > but it was quite a pain
Kyle Langdon > and the splooge was pretty plain
Kobrakilla > it came down like the rain
Kyle Langdon > and you lost the game
Kobrakilla > but that isn’t the same
Shaka Laka > this hurts my brain…
Kyle Langdon > that’s a pretty large claim
00sage00 > to fame
Kobrakilla > and to tame
Kyle Langdon > aim
00sage00 > defame
Kyle Langdon > exclaim
00sage00 > proclaim
Shaka Laka > ascertain
Kyle Langdon > does this really pertain?
00sage00 > bob the builder
Shaka Laka > Only if you’re insane
00sage00 > >_>
Kyle Langdon > blob the quilder

So next time you’re in local
And we’re being very vocal
You’d better run away fast
Or our rhymes will leave you aghast.

I’ve said before that I would join a pirate corp someday. And as of today, I am a member of the Python Cartel. Here is my recruitment application:

1: What is your real-life age and country/state/province in which you reside?
17/m/cali. What’s your a/s/l?

2: What is the full name of the character you are applying with?
00sage00

3: Is this character your main character, or an alt?
It’s my alt (17 mil SP). I spend most of my time on my main (150,000 SP) running level 1 missions, mining in 1.0 security, and trading.

4: What ships are you currently capable of flying?
Noobships, frigates, Amarr industrials, and some other ships.

5: What are your favorite ships for PvP? What are your preferred setups for these ships?
Shield tanked Punisher, PvP Itty V, probing Zephyr, and pod tanked blaster Typhoons. I also like Titans for 1v1s.

6: What are your short-term skill training plans?
I need to finish training Retail III so that I can have enough market slots to sell all the lootz I will steal as a badass pirate.

7: What are your long-term skill training plans?
I’ve always wanted to fly a Hulk.

8: Do you have any prior Low sec/0.0 PvP or Piracy experience? If so, please be thorough in telling us about it. Links to Battleclinic/corp killboards are very much appreciated.
(why are the slashes backwards?)
I’ve died a couple times in lowsec/nullsec and been ransomed by pirates. One time I tried to kill a nonblinky battleship on a gate with a frigate. I died, but I gained lots of PvP XP.

Here’s a link to my best kill: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=8317485

This one was also pretty good: http://pcmk2.griefwatch.net/?p=details&kill=7234. Although not the best because the pilot was a total nub.

9: Why do you want to join The Python Cartel?
Because I’m awesome, and the Pythons are awesome, and we’d be even awesomer together.

10: What is it you look for in a corporation? What do you expect from a corporation?
I look for a place where I can be loved. I expect backrubs from the corp members.

11: Do you have a working microphone and installation of Ventrilo?
Yes. I do prefer Eve Voice though because I can sound like an underage, mentally deficient girl.

12: Are you self sufficient in terms of ISK generation and hauling equipment?
As long as I don’t lose too many more frigates trying to kill battleships, my alt in a mining Velator should be able to keep up. My pod isn’t too hard to haul around, either.

13: Are you willing to go to -10 security status, honor all 1 v 1’s, and honor all ransoms?
I’m scared of lowsec and prefer to have a positive sec status.

Should I happen to have a 1v1, I will attempt to get a solo kill until I start dying. Then I’ll call in backup.

And of course I will accept any ransom ISKies after I steal a victim’s ship, pod, tears, and soul.

14: Do you have any questions that you would like answered about The Python Cartel? If so, please ask us!
Do I get complimentary drinks? I’d also like 72 virgins every time I die.

15: Please eve-mail your limited API key (including the user ID) to all of the following people: Golden Helmet, Spectre3353, Lachesis VII, and Omgah
You’re just trying to h4x me. <_<

The yarrbear to yarrbear transition is exciting; I am looking forward to going -10 and PvPing 23/7.

Kala from Chocolate Heaven started a little Eve blogger meme by displaying his “Evespace”, which is essentially the workspace you play Eve Online in. Here is what mine looks like:

Just kidding. Here is my real Evespace:

I play Eve on the 15″ MacBook Pro shown in the picture (except that I boot Windows XP because the Mac client runs too slowly). And as you can see, my Evespace is dominated by school books instead of Eve-related decor. :(